The Faith-filled Wife

Last night, my husband and I were at a meeting for church planters. For those of you who don't know, we have recently moved to LA to plant churches (I'll be posting more details of our adventures at a later date). There were four other couples there. All strong believers. All seeking God's will and spreading the Gospel. It was an amazing evening! But one thing that I noticed as a commonality across the board was that the men, the husbands, all felt strongly that they were being lead to be church planters, and over the course of each couple making the decision to commit to the calling, the wives struggled fiercely with faith. Faith in believing that this was truly the calling of their husband and in trusting that God would provide and that the church plants would "succeed". Each wife shared the fears she went through and is currently going through. Not to say that the men didn't have their moments of being unsure...we're all human and we (rightly) question our motives from time to time. But I found myself wondering "why?". Why are all these women, myself included, so quick to doubt and fear? Some of us have kids and we are concerned for their well being, but that's not the real problem. That's not the root of it anyway and, perhaps, it's just a scape-goat.

Though I have not yet solved the question of "why", I do want to take the time to urge you, wives and mothers, to take control of your fear. I know about hardship. I know about struggle. I know about people turning against me because they do not share our vision, people I love. I know about leaving behind comfort to follow God. I've gone through all of this several times over. But one thing that I have learned... a great lesson worth all the suffering...is that faith grows when you step out and commit to the calling of the Father. When he says to you and your family, "Leave it all and come with me, " He will grow your faith along the way because he is preparing you for your promise. He only asks you to take one step at a time and he frequently only shows you one step at a time because your faith needs to be built strong. And with every step you encounter, you grow enough to be able to take the next one. He is already trustworthy, YOU are the one that is questionable! lol. He is building you and humbling you and growing you so that when the time is right, according to his perfect timing, you'll be ready. He's a good Dad. 

Prophesy to These Dry Bones

Ezekiel 37:1-14

1The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out in the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley;^a it was full of bones. 2And he led me around among them, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley, and behold, they were very dry. 3And he said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, you know.” 4Then he said to me, “Prophesy over these bones, and say to them, O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. 5Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones: Behold, I will cause breath^b to enter you, and you shall live. 6And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the LORD.”

7So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I prophesied, there was a sound, and behold, a rattling,^c and the bones came together, bone to its bone. 8And I looked, and behold, there were sinews on them, and flesh had come upon them, and skin had covered them. But there was no breath in them. 9Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, Thus says the Lord GOD: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they may live.” 10So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army.

11Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. Behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are indeed cut off.’ 12Therefore prophesy, and say to them, Thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I will open your graves and raise you from your graves, O my people. And I will bring you into the land of Israel.13And you shall know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves, and raise you from your graves, O my people. 14And I will put my Spirit within you, and you shall live, and I will place you in your own land. Then you shall know that I am theLORD; I have spoken, and I will do it, declares the LORD.”

I don't normally post such a large portion of Scripture, but this passage has really been life giving these last few days. (Pun not intended, but it is pretty good!) What I say today will be brief as the Scripture speaks plainly. 

What we say matters. What we speak over our lives matters. What we speak over our marriages, children, health, finances, spiritual walk, etc, matters. When my husband and I were picking out names for our children we were very careful to find names that had meanings that we wanted to speak over our children. We believed that every time we would speak our child's name, we would be speaking their destiny over them. For example, our oldest son's name means "Who is like God?" "Defender of men". Every time we call for him, we are declaring a reminder "who is like God?". It's a perspective that we are providing for him. And his middle name means "Defender of men". He is our oldest son. We desire that he will be a leader and defender of his younger siblings and even the world. Our twins are "Jehovah is God", "Double portion blessing" and "Helper", "One who Supplements or adds to."

Your life becomes what you declare over it. If you are cynical and continually talk about your problems, that's all you'll ever have. Once you shift your focus and train your tongue and start speaking to the problem, speaking life over death, healing over pain, blessing over cursing, love over hate and joy over depression, your life will be transformed. When you "Prophesy to the dry bones", they will come alive and they will create an army that will fight for you! An army that will fight for God's people! An army with a purpose. 

Practice this with me. Let's change the world!

Making Peace with Postpartum

Let me start by saying: I LOVE my children. I am such a blessed mama to have 3 such wonderful, healthy little boys. But I would be lying if I told you that I don't struggle to love my new body.

I do not suffer postpartum depression, but I do suffer from postpartum body hatred. I think most of us can identify with this feeling of self loathing. In our minds we KNOW that our bodies did something INCREDIBLE creating LIFE. A miracle formed in our wombs! Living, breathing, soul-filled, miracles that we are so in love with and so proud to call our sons and daughters. We have hopes for them. Dreams for them. Prayers for them. And yet, while there is so much love for the brand new humans that are flesh of our flesh, we find ourselves cowering behind baggy clothes and closed doors.

I joke with my husband saying, "it's a good thing I don't feel attractive now because that makes it easier for me to sacrifice myself for the kids." Truth be told, I don't know why we must look like deflated balloons after giving birth. Personally, I think it'd be a way better system if God had created our bodies to snap right back into shape after giving birth. (I'm still trying to convince him it's a good idea). But that's the way it is... (For now :)). 

I hate getting in the shower because I see myself naked and have to fight back tears every time. "It's not fair!" I cry, throwing a tantrum to God in my head. "I worked so hard for those babies and then afterward I have to look like poop forever." I'm no stranger to all the other blog posts by mother's who call stretch marks "tiger stripes" and "badges". They're cute and I appreciate their efforts and they're right... But it doesn't help. Not me at least. And it's not even the numbers on the scale that bother me (heck, most of the remaing weight is due to these massive, milk making machines), it's the completely new shape that I have to come to terms with. But while I throw my tantrums and as I sit here snuggling my sweet, sleeping 6 month old, God just tells me, "You're beautiful. I made you in my image and likeness. Your body was designed to bear children and I have asked you to open up your womb to me. Your standard of beauty is wrong. Learn what I think is beautiful. Trust me. I love you." 

And that is the message I leave with you all this evening. It takes practice and thought rearranging and trust. Do you believe that God thinks you're gorgeous? Did that thought ever even cross your mind? God didn't make our bodies to snap right back into place because that's not beauty. Beauty is radiating inside your motherly heart, loving your babies. You don't have to feel ugly because your clothes don't fit right or because your boobs are saggy. You can feel drop dead gorgeous because God says you are.

Be Still

Yikes! I haven't posted since January!
Well, to give a quick update on what has been going on in our lives: we have since had 2 healthy twin boys born at 38 weeks (7lbs 2oz and 6lbs 15oz). And, really, that's it. Babies take up a lot of time, especially breastfeeding. But I want to encourage all of you who are pregnant with multiples or nursing multiples, it can be done and it does get easier! There are days where I feel like everything is an insurmountable goal and there are days where it's a piece of cake. Just stick tight, you can do it. Even as I'm writing I am rocking my two non nappers because it's the only way I can get them to nap for any length of time.

If you're anything like me you feel like everybody else has a better handle on life. Everybody else has kids that nap well and sleep through the night and eat all their good healthy food that that they in all their perfectness are able to whip up everyday. The house is all in order, the babies don't spit up and the 2 year old sits quietly and always says, "please." And those thoughts depress you and shame you and, if left alone, make you BELIEVE that you aren't good enough. And it doest have to be motherhood issues, it could be anything.

I have the privilidge of having a husband who is willing to snap me back into reality. He's not afraid of a negative response from me. This weekend he shared a video with me from Pastor Francis Chan's wife, Lisa. She was speaking about BEING STILL. Women have a problem being still. I don't know a single woman who doesn't gave a constant running list in her head of things she needs to get done and wants to get done. Having a list is fine, but we let it CONTROL us. "The kids are finally down for a nap, I need to clean this dump." *baby wakes up before the first task is done* "Ugh, why? I have all these things I need to do!" *nurse, nurse, nurse* "hurry up, your brothers are still sleeping, I can still get a chance to..." *other baby wakes up* "never mind." Then daddy gets home we frantically try to make dinner, force the 2 year old to eat it and choke down a little crunchier than aldente pasta ourselves, pile the dishes in the sink that you'll "get to later" because the baby(ies) want mommy milk. *nurse, nurse, nurse* BED TIME!! "Finally, I can get something done!" But the  husband wants to relax with you and the couch is calling you. You assure him that you just want to get one thing done quick. But onething turns into 5 things simultaneously and none of them get accomplished to your idea of "done" before your annoyed husband asks you, again, to sit with him.

Is it bad to want to have "it all"? A clean house, happy healthy kids and a good marriage? It's not too much to ask, right? Well, that's just the problem. We aren't asking, we're just doing. We aren't BEING STILL like Mary (Luke 10) but frantic like Martha.

Christian mother, what is your goal? Is it to keep up with this idea of perfection that you have made up that only stresses you out or is it to raise your kids to love and serve the Lord and have a marriage that sets an example of Christ's love for the church? Being still before the Lord isn't being LAZY, it's being productive!! You're setting yourself before God to LISTEN and PRAY and WORSHIP.You'll find that after you start choosing the quiet time, your day just works out better. Maybe it's God rewarding you with excellent nap times(!) Or maybe your perspective has been elevated. Either way, it's a better day!

Be still before the Lord.

Unfathomably Comfortable

Over the last few weeks at church we have been doing a study on "famous" church leaders. This past Sunday, my pastor spoke about Charles Spurgeon. He was an incredible man, but I think the most incredible thing about him was that he knew he could never exhaust the unfathomable characteristics of God. He knew that no matter how hard he sought after God, he could never come to the point where he has "arrived" spiritually. And he continued seeking diligently his entire life. 

We all know Spurgeon was a great thinker, philosopher, pastor, preacher, theologian, etc, etc. We have all read his quotes. Believers and non-believers around the world know of Spurgeon. How can a man like that have the humility to understand that he cannot and will not ever "arrive" spiritually, but then we come along having hardly done anything noteworthy for Christ in our lives thus far and think that we have arrived. "It's been a month since I have opened my Bible at home for my own private devotions, but that's okay, because I pretty much know everything that the Bible says anyway." Seriously? It sounds so embarrassingly stupid, but we all do it. 

Oh God, awaken a hunger and thirst in us than cannot be quenched by complacency!

How is it possible that we have become comfortable with how much we know about the Creator of the Universe and the Savior of our Souls? 

Beauty and the Season

Job 11:7-12

New International Version (NIV)

⁷ “Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
    Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?
⁸ They are higher than the heavens above—what can you do?
    They are deeper than the depths below—what can you know?
⁹ Their measure is longer than the earth
    and wider than the sea.

¹⁰ “If he comes along and confines you in prison
    and convenes a court, who can oppose him?
¹¹ Surely he recognizes deceivers;
    and when he sees evil, does he not take note?
¹² But the witless can no more become wise
    than a wild donkey’s colt can be born human.

 

 

Over the last few weeks I have been listening to a sermon series by Pastor Steven Furtic at Elevation Church in North Carolina called “Times and Seasons”. This series has struck a chord with me because it’s about wanting to “fast forward” through the hard or not so fun times in life, and Pastor Steven kind of blasts a hole in that way of thinking.

 

Everybody has hard times in their lives. Every mother has been pooped on. Every wife has had a disagreement with her husband. The person you look at and idolize has hard times in her life. You aren’t going to get rid of them. The point of life isn’t to see how quickly you can get through a crappy situation. It isn’t even to just survive through it. Every obstacle is an opportunity to excel. Before you start rolling your eyes at me because “I have no idea what you are going through”, pause for a moment. Take a step back from your difficult life and look at it. What could God possibly be trying to instill in you through this hard time? Is it faith in His provision? Is He teaching you contentment in His love above all others? Is He trying to get you to examine your heart motives? Patience? Perseverance? A combination of all of these or something completely different? Maybe he wants you to come to the end of yourself so you will remember him and draw near to him. Point being; stop trying to ignore the season you are in. If you pretend it isn’t there…it’s still there, you’re just not learning what you should be learning. It’s hard being a mom of a toddler, but if you just grit your teeth to get through it you’ll be missing out on all the amazing things they are learning how to do. Truth be told, every stage your children will go through will be hard and if all you’re trying to do is survive it, you’ll miss it. Same is true for marriage. The season you are in might be really hard, but unless you are willing to learn and grow, it will never get to “The Notebook” place that you want it to. Gold is refined through fire and the hotter the fire the more pure the gold. If your “fire” is really hot right now, congratulations! God is making you really shiny! J  

 

No matter what season you are in, God has a purpose for it and there is beauty to be enjoyed in it.

Loving Forgiveness

Hey there wives and mamas. Sorry for the abrupt pause in blog posts. The last few months have been crazy: We found out we are having twins, moved up to MN from FL to be closer to my family and we have been on a job hunt for my husband and getting settled in. Busy. Busy. Busy.

Anyhow, I hope you are all doing well and that you’ll forgive my neglect.

The last time I wrote to you it was about love, the 1 Corinthians 13 kind of love. Impossible love…or so it would seem.

To jog my memory, I just went back to read it a couple of minutes ago and reflected on how I have loved over the last few months. Do I love my husband and my son (and my unborn twins)? Yes! I absolutely do. But would my actions reflect that Christian love? If I’m honest, no. I’m still selfish. I still get frustrated when I don’t get my way. I still brag about how I do most of the care-taking of our one year old. (Hello, what stay at home mom doesn’t? duh.) And, let’s be real for a moment; pregnancy + sex = not my favorite thing to do. But it’s not the worst thing to do either. Yet I make him beg and plead as if it’s such a burden. In front of the world, I love my family. It’s plain to them. Behind closed doors…some might question just based on my complaining.

Now, let’s move beyond husband and children…How do you love your parents and siblings? How do you love your in-laws? What about your crazy aunt?

I don’t mean to completely reiterate my previous post, but love is hard. And maybe the hardest part about love is forgiveness. People hurt people, whether on purpose or on accident, it’s just a fact. People do dumb things and it gets on the nerves of the *ahem* smarter people. And then sometimes they’re not even sorry! OR willing to apologize! How dare they. How can you forgive them if they don’t apologize? How much more selfish could they be…keeping you from being able to forgive them like that…? Sheesh. The nerve of some people. Making you remain bitter and angry with them.

Come on, ladies, that’s ridiculous. But, that’s the lie of Satan: making you think that the person needs to ask your forgiveness BEFORE you can forgive them. We’re all guilty of believing and acting on that lie. Just like we are all guilty of sinning against people we love (and people we don’t even know).

You are not better than your family or your neighbor. Your sin deserves Hell just like theirs. But somehow we all have a heaping amount of grace for ourselves and barely a teaspoonful for the rest of the world to share.

Jesus bled and died for them, just like he bled and died for you. And your sin against him was far greater than any sin anyone has ever committed against you. How arrogant are we to say, “God, they hurt me, they stole from me, so I can’t forgive them. But I have cursed your name and worshipped false idols instead of you and you need to forgive me.

Scripture says to confess your sin and humble yourself before the Lord. Perhaps the first step in that direction is to start forgiving the “unforgivable”. Pray and ask God for strength. It’s not easy, but if He can forgive the whole world of their sins I am certain that He can extend His grace to you so that you can forgive those who hurt you. All it takes is your willingness.

Living Excellently

1 Corinthians 13:1-3

And now I will show you the most excellent way.

13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Let's talk about love. What is love? The world defines love as a feeling. But if it were only just a feeling, how could it be considered more excellent than speaking in the tongues of men and of angels or having the gift of prophecy or having faith that can move mountains? A mere feeling that can come and go compared to such amazing spiritual gifts would seem deflated and anticlimactic. That's because love isn't just a feeling. The world has defined it wrong (shocking, I know).

So what is so amazing about love anyway?

If we continue reading in chapter 13:4-8a the Bible defines it:

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not       proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it             keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the 

    truth . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Love never fails.

Ahh...That's why love is so amazing. Because it's a challenge, a call to obedience. The command to love is an opportunity to live as a Christian. Love it hard. Love takes work and dedication. Love is a testimony. Love is a choice. When you choose to love, you choose all of these things simultaneously.

So, now that we have realized what love is and that we struggle to really love our spouses and our children from time to time (maybe some of us don't even love ourselves), let's not forget that we are supposed to love our neighbors too. 

The last devotional I posted was a challenge to slow down and help the people we come in contact with on a daily basis, to get over ourselves and actually minister to the people around us. Today we learn that the way to do it is excellent. So what are you waiting for? Start exercising your ability to love. Ask God for strength. Ask God for all the attributes of love. It will take practice and you will be fighting your selfishness along the way, but you'll get there. We are will. Now let's go be excellent!

A Call of Duty

 Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.

One major thing that the Lord has been teaching me lately is to get over myself and love the people around me regardless of who they are, how they act and what they look like. I get annoyed too easily, too often. And because I get so wrapped up in the things that bother me, I forget that the Lord has called me, and all of us, to die to ourselves and love our neighbors.

Just look at the verses above. We are supposed to be proclaiming freedom for the captives. But when we are faced with an opportunity, we wonder how long it will take or forget that they are captives and think ill of them instead of having compassion on them. Hurting people are everywhere. Spiritually lost people are everywhere. But how often do we go to the grocery store, look no one in the eye as we pass, and get out as quickly as possible? I do that every time I go! The only reason I ever talk to strangers is because they comment on my silly/noisy/cute/friendly baby. Our goals shouldn’t be to get out of the store as quickly as possible or to stay to ourselves and the ones we are with. Our goals should be to help the hurting, share the Gospel, encourage the brokenhearted and set the captives free.

So let’s start by seeing people for what they truly are; God’s creation, people whom He loves, brothers and sisters, rather than burdens and “stupid people”. Our “jobs” aren’t as easy as we thought they were…neither are they as mundane and useless. We have great callings on our lives, so let’s start living up to them.

Guard Your Lips and Unlock Your Ears

Humans love to talk. We love to share our opinions, our feelings. We love to "give advice"...or commands. We love to debate, argue, ridicule, gossip and be sarcastic. I'm not inferring that we should never speak, but perhaps we should be more careful about the words that come out of our mouths. 

Spoken word has power. God created everything with spoken word (Genesis 1 and John 1:1-4) and through spoken word there has been destruction. Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat it's fruit." And Proverbs 13:3 "He who guards his lips guards his own life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin."

There is a reason why James 1:19 says we should be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." It's also not an accident that he out these three things in this exact order. How many times have we been quick to become angry, then speak out of our anger and not listen to a single thing the other person is trying to say? How quick are we to become offended because we don't want to take the time to hear what the other person is saying and instead assume we know what they are saying, cut them off and get mad? How many arguments could be avoided by simply listening?

Not only that, but speaking negatively about a situation or a person can have negative effects and you will have to give account for everything that come out of your mouth. "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgement for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matthew 12:36-37.

Maybe we shouldn't speak so flippantly about our circumstances or people around us or our frustrations. Is a quick word spoken out of anger or malice really worth the trouble we will find because of it?

I encourage you to examine yourself, get into the habit of thinking before you speak, and if it's "too late" repent and ask for forgiveness from God and the person you have wronged. And seek scripture on this topic. Pray and ask God to reveal the truth and severity of speaking carelessly. Because of the time I have taken to search out multiple scriptures and pray through all of this, God has softened my heart to be careful and think before I speak. I still have a long way to go, but it truly is freeing when I do have victory and bridle my tongue.