Well, yesterday's post didn't quite make it up. It was one of those days where you just feel like you are constantly trying to hurry up and get somewhere, but you can't quite figure out where you are trying to go so fast. Know what I mean? Ever have one of those?
Let's talk about rumors and gossip. You know you do it too. Don't pretend you don't. At some point we have all started a sentence with, "Did you hear...?" If that's not a dead give away, I don't know what is. Rumors get spread about you, they get spread about me. Nobody likes getting talked about behind their back, so why do we do it? Even if the rumors are true, or if the things being said are good, the second you introduce yourself to someone and they say, "I've heard a lot about you." You think..."uh oh, what have you heard and who would have told you about me?" It's just an uncomfortable idea that someone might have a preconceived notion of who we are, because then, what kind of persona are we supposed to live up to? Are we supposed to try to prove them wrong and we actually are a nice person? Or are we supposed to tone down the niceness a little bit because we overwhelm people? :)
We are going to talk about the people that are in our lives. (Otherwise we only talk about ourselves and that's called narcissism). So, how do you live with people and talk about the people you live life with without being a gossip queen? Well, start by looking at the content of which you are sharing with people. Are they secrets? Someone else's failures or mistakes? Would they be embarrassed by you telling people about what they did? What is your motive for sharing this particular story? Are you trying to make them look bad? Are you trying to make yourself look good? There are many factors that we don't often think about before we open our mouths. "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say nothing at all." -Thumper on Bambi. (I know he used a double negative and that makes it a positive, but stop being so smart and realize what he is actually saying!) If the story that is about to come out of your mouth isn't something you'd want people to know about you, just don't say it.
I know that we commonly use the excuse, "But they are in trouble and I need to tell people so they can get help." How often are the people you gossip about actually getting help from the people you gossip to? If somebody you know is cheating on her husband, I don't need to know about it. She needs to be confronted about it. And since you know, maybe you should be the one to do the confronting. If "she's getting fat," telling your hairstylist won't help her get healthy. Ladies, you're smarter than this. Stop fooling yourselves into thinking you are helping and actually help. Get off the phone. Get off of Facebook. Get out of the coffee shop and go be a real friend to those who are hurting and making a mess of their lives because of it. Maybe they just don't know any better because nobody has taught them. It's surprising the things people just don't know. Find your compassion, bridle your tongue, share the wealth of knowledge you have gained of "proper human behavior" (since you seem to be an expert) and be surprised at what you find out. Maybe the woman who is rumored to be unfaithful to her husband actually is being faithful and someone else was lying to you or has misunderstood something they have seen. Maybe the woman who is "getting fat" has a tumor or a disease or is lonely. You don't know what is going on in the day to day lives of the people you see. Be a trustworthy companion. Be a friend. Be a Christian. Don't be a gossip.
No comments:
Post a Comment